March 5, 2026
Written by Jill Snider
So here we are. I, like you, have survived another Canadian winter. I believe that yours was probably similar to mine: Twenty plus snow days, record high snowfalls, vehicles ditched before even leaving the driveway. You know it too, I won’t make you relive it. We’ve been doing this for long enough!
We Survived Another Snowpocalypse, Now What?
Now that it’s March, we have something to look forward to. The weather forecast is showing signs of increased temperatures which means that snow will soon melt. We can soon get outdoors to clean up the neighbours dog poop from our lawn . That’s exciting!
With the ease of working remotely, my snack bowl has been the centre of attention this winter. Hot chocolate loaded with extra marshmallows has become my morning go-to – seriously. I’ve been wearing my husband’s oversized jogging pants that someone gave him in 1988 and he wants them back. I must also admit that my motivation to roll out of bed at 6am and stumble to the basement to hit cardio has been zilch since the temperature dropped below zero in November. Now that I think of it, that is probably where the cat went (kidding!).
Winter for many Canadians is kind of like hibernation for bears. Bears do this thing called hyperphagia. It’s when they consume a lot of food to build fat reserves in preparation for the long months of hibernation. The only problem is, bears don’t have to put jeans back on again in the spring like most Canadians. So, if you’re not a bear, follow these Nine Steps to Getting Back Into Your Jeans After a Merciless Winter:
- Go to your closet and seek out the jeans that you want to put on. Don’t pick the ones with no stretch built-in. Also don’t choose the jeans with too many holes. It’s already frustrating enough getting into them, you don’t need your toes stuck halfway in.
- Now, you can mentally prepare. Hang your jeans where you can see them. Look at them in the morning for 2-3 days. Talk to them, give them a little stretch here and there. Be nice.
- On the big day, Jean Day, lock the bedroom door, throw on your favourite Tee, Buffalo Plaid Flannel and best undies. You need to be presentable if someone has to help you off the floor.
- Do five jumping jacks. If that’s not in your wheelhouse, just do something that will get the endorphins flowing. Chocolate helps too.
- Sit on the bed. One foot at a time, don’t go Cowboy and try to do two feet at once. It’s been a long winter and we haven’t stretched in awhile. One foot,all the way through to the floor, don’t fall off the bed. If you have any doubt, just sit right down on the floor and start from there.
- Now the other foot. Repeat step 5.
- Stand from sitting on the floor or bed, whichever you choose. Don’t expect the jeans to come up with ease yet. Stand with your legs shoulder width apart or further if you can but don’t rip the jeans – it’s not a competition. Use a wall or chair for balance while standing. This portion should take only a minute or less. If it takes longer, abort and put your winter joggers back on.
- With jeans now just above your knees, do 5 squats. This will help to loosen up the jeans. Do 5 more if you’ve got it in you. Go Champ! You’ve got this.
- This is it, the final important step. With jeans loosened, pull them up. Do the button first, then the zipper. You know what to do here, I don’t need to give instructions but for the guys – don’t forget about the zipper! I know it’s been a long winter.
Pat yourself on the back. Go get a snack and make a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows to celebrate.
Jill Snider is a Freelance Content Creator and independent Public Writer focusing on family, career, lifestyle and everyday things that Canadians can relate to like Getting Back Into Your Jeans After a Long Winter.